I personally feel that the scariest thing about living, is how our destinies or the course our lives is meant to take is all predetermined – and you could view this from many different perspectives but it’s sad really, how we live our lives thinking it’s all our work, our doing, thinking it’s a new challenge in our life meanwhile it was all set before our existence was even known of. The paths we were meant to take, the breaths we we’re supposed to take, how many other lives we encounter – all of that is predetermined, it’s like watching a movie full of suspense (I have a great dislike for those movies).
It makes me feel like I’m not living but just acting out a script. I’m probably inflicted with these thoughts because I am at a point in my life where a lot seems predetermined for me and it’s intimidating, it makes me feel powerless, as if I have zero control over my life. It’s scary really, do I follow the script or do I just improvise along the way. The safer option would obviously be following the script but where’s the fun in that, I crave adventure, I love colouring outside the lines, it’s just ironic that I’m often placed in situations where I am placed in a cage and my freedom of thought, speech, movement and growth is dependent on the size of the cage.
But what happens when I am freed from that cage? It is one thing to crave freedom, but it’s a completely different ball game when you have all the freedom you’ve ever desired in the feathers of your wings and you’re now being told to fly and soar … how can you expect me to fly and soar when all you’ve ever done is manipulate restriction into my life?
That line speaks volumes in my life, freedom, in my own opinion can be reached to its full potential because there will always be something hindering us from achieving absolute freedom. We live our lives, content with the little bit of freedom we have accumulated, forgetting there is an absolute abundance of it – somewhere, but we remain content with the little we have because it is all we know, all we will ever come to know. We can all now take it upon ourselves to strive for absolute freedom, but when does freedom reach an absolute state? Where do we draw the line and say,” Well you’re as free as can be, and there is no freedom left to occupy.” And that’s freedom, it’s absolute in its endless supply but vicarious in its untouched and unseen vacancy.
We all strive for it and to a certain extent think we live and embody it – but what the hell is freedom …
It’s easy to say that freedom is defined by you, as a being, because everyone views it differently and whatever else we like to use as an answer to abstract questions we have no concrete answer to … and I’ll answer you when I have taught myself how to be free …