We all reach that point, where we are just tired. Not physically tired but emotionally tired, you just reach a halt and it all begins to crumble down but you could just care less. You sit there in a state of absolute immobility and you couldn’t be bothered with trying to pick up the toolbox and begin repairing your life as you’d usually do. You just sit there, grab the cranberry juice, open the bottle of vodka and call it a day.
My best friend calls it being emotionally paralysed (E.P) but I refer to it as your state of nothingness. It’s as if you go through a phase, where it seems as if you have the emotional gauge of a teaspoon, like you just shrug it all off cause you’re just tired of feeling …
Drastic times call for drastic measures and these are some pretty drastic times. I probably sound like the biggest hypocrite that has ever existed because I’m always preaching about actually making it your mission to feel something, anything – but there are times where you need a break from it all. The feeling, the caring, the bothering. Let’s just be emo for a moment, let us drain out our emotional capacities, in an attempt to start afresh. Emphasis on the word “attempt”.
I truly believe in learning from not only your own mistakes, but also the mistakes others make, in an attempt to protect yourself from any emotional damage, but the way I see it, learning from other people’s mistakes only makes you build a thicker emotional wall against battles you may never face, and I don’t know if that works in your favour or not … but it hasn’t worked for me, it’s just made me fear so many things which hinders me from ever experiencing anything fully because I live in this constant somewhat irrational fear.
So when everything goes haywire and you find yourself experiencing too many emotions that are on opposite ends of the spectrum (all at once), you end up malfunctioning – and then you reach the state of nothingness, where you could not care any less about feeling anything.
And I am okay with that … which normal human being goes through their life without reaching an emotional shut down, for whatever reason.
Understand that I am not talking about a state of sadness, I am talking about not even feeling sad – you just feel absolutely nothing about everything and it isn’t even a priority to sort out your emotional displacement, you just don’t care.
It’s honestly just refreshing for me because I am a passionate being – I feel every emotion ten times more than the normal human being … it feels good to not feeling anything intense.
Let’s call it … an emotional break, and let’s not let it exist for more than a moment, and as comfortable as it may be, we owe it to ourselves to live again.