F o r g i v i n g

Daily Prompt: Interior

You are never truly over something, someone has done to you if you can’t forgive them for their actions, and sometimes it isn’t because you’re holding a grudge against them but because you haven’t actually dealt with the situation. I have come to realise that sometimes it isn’t about getting the clarity you wanted but it is about you dealing with it on your own and forgiving yourself.
We are so quick to point fingers and blame others for why we feel the way we do, forgetting that it is our feelings that we need to deal with before anything, anyone says make sense on an emotional level.

I have been pointing too many fingers at the wrong people when I should’ve been pointing them at myself. I am the reason why I felt the way I did because I failed to forgive myself when it mattered most and so I walked around thinking that other people were to blame for so many things in my life. The only place in my entire existence where no one else matters is my life and I was letting people hinder me from living it because I refused to forgive them, I refused to release myself from that pain … I found some sort of solace in feeling sorry for myself.

Forgiving someone who may not even be sorry is difficult, but it is much worse to live a half-life and not move on from where that person left you because you just won’t forgive them. My mother always warned me about holding grudges, she’d say that while I am still angry at the person and holding a grudge, that person is living their life, unperturbed by what I am going through and how I may be feeling. The beauty in forgiveness is not hidden within the words, “I am sorry.”, but in that feeling you get when the weight is off your shoulders, you see forgiveness isn’t there to benefit the person you’re forgiving but it is there to release you of the agony you endure while you’re in the state of being unforgiving.

It is never about them and will never be about them, so stop waiting for the curtains to open up … that opportunity may never come. Release yourself, remove yourself, allow yourself to grow. Love yourself more than any other being in your life.

Xoxo, Lucy

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6 thoughts on “F o r g i v i n g

    1. The funny thing is, i am the type of person to hold a grudge, i am a very unforgiving person … which is why in this post i make reference to fact that forgiveness, is not for the other person but for me, forgiveness allowed me to move on in so many parts of my life.

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      1. But forgiving can also mean ‘it’s okay ‘ how can something that is wrong b okay? So how can u say I forgive you, n move on?, When u can’t accept the things that are done wrong.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You seem to misunderstand my point, if you hold grudges, not willing to forgive someone, you are hindering yourself from experiencing so many things on an emotional level, because you close yourself off.
        I get your point, i mean how does one simply overlook something that is wrong and make it okay but you need to understand that you’re not doing it for the other person, you are doing it for yourself, releasing yourself of that emotional burden.
        I personally had the same problem, but in forgiving them, i realised i felt much lighter, both emotionally and spiritually, you see at the end of the day i helped myself, without the words ” I am sorry” from the people who had hurt me.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I agree, Lucy. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. That is why it is so difficult sometimes. I forgive people for their transgressions, but I don’t forget. I move on without them because I will never forget. And I’m grateful for having learned. I like your perspective on this post.

    Liked by 1 person

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