After a 4 hour phone call conversation in the early hours of the morning, I realised how we enjoy settling for certain things because we can’t find exactly what we are looking so the next best thing will do. Instead of waiting it out, refusing to compromise a few things here and there, we become impatient because we will not let life take control and understand that certain paths require self-construction before we can take them, and so we settle, we settle for the next best thing because we refuse to take the time and fix ourselves, because we believe that other people are to blame for the scars we bare.
After realising that there are many things only I can offer myself, I decided to take a break from it all and fix myself, and obviously in doing so, I had to let go of a few people in my life which wasn’t easy but it did hurt to see how easily people let go. Thinking you’ve found what many call ride or dies, people who will stick with you through it all and have your back no matter what, is a common mistake, we give people positions in our lives because we believe they have earned it, their actions have proven they’re worthy enough to be as close as we have let them to be. I have come to realise that there is no such thing as truly knowing a person, we merely know the side of them they choose to show us, and that people that truly love you, come to your aid in times of famine.
I have come to have the greatest love, respect and admiration for the people who have stayed with me through the Dineo that took over my life, it takes going through a lot of shit for one to start realising certain things about themselves and to start looking at life from an entirely new perspective, one that many people you thought were there for you no matter what, will have great difficulty seeing. You go through certain things in life and when the storm finally settles down and you just want to look at the rainbow, you will find that the sky is still full of clouds that are clearing the sky, which is a true testament to the fact that, not every cloud is meant to nourish the soil in which your roots are embedded in, some clouds are just there to fill up the space in the sky and therefore aren’t worth looking at.
Don’t waste too much time, mourning lost friends and lovers, they were never strong enough to handle you and the baggage you carry, even if you carried some of their baggage for them from time to time.
My new favourite word is, flourish.
So flourish babe, flourish in it all, flourish in everything, a new chapter has begun, don’t waste pages on those who wasted your time, flourish.
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