Reading between my lines.

Daily Prompt: Dancing

It’s 1am and I should be studying, but I think my writer’s block has, FINALLY LEFT THE BUILDING!
For the past few months, I have been a stern believer in destiny and everything happening for a reason and it’s simply because I started seeing the connection between everything that was happening in my life, but one thing I have had to accept about this belief is that, it is not for you to understand neither is for you to see, destiny does not want to be traced and therefore acts in sneaky and secretive ways. Do you ever ask yourself why you may have learned something a few months ago, something that was, in that moment, unrelated to anything in your life, but then a few months later, you find yourself in a situation where you are equipped to deal with a particular situation or you’re able to engage in a conversation that you would not have been able to engage in if it were not for that skill that you learned a few months ago, and I know this example is pretty vague, but I have come to realise that life prepares you for your moments of downfall as well as your moments of happiness and success. It’s not for you to understand neither is it for you to recognise the little breadcrumbs destiny leaves.

If it were not for 2016 (one hell of crappy year), I do not think I would be able to fully appreciate all the goodness that has surrounded me this year, it may not have been perfect but I have been so grateful for the peace and happiness that fills my soul this year. I discovered this when, one night, my best friend and I were drinking in his backyard, celebrating my birthday and he asked me, “So what is Lucy thankful for, and what is she looking forward to in her new year?”, it was then I realised how much of a beautiful year this has been and how if it were not for the breakdown I had in 2016, my growth would not be as significant as it is, neither would I be able to recognise how this has been one heck of a beautiful year, and it’s in the little things, it’s always in the detail, the breadcrumbs destiny leaves.

It’s so easy for us to get so caught up in the happiness that we forget to be thankful, humans are greedy by nature but what use is the good moments if you are not appreciative of them, stretch out that goodness the same way you squeeze out that little bit of toothpaste out of the tube, in a way it makes the good moments last longer and the bad moments not that bad, it’s something that I have been trying for the past few months and it truly has worked, whether you’re thanking the Man upstairs, another Godly being or the Universe, learn to let go of the feeling of entitlement because Earth owes you absolutely nothing, but it gives you just enough to get you through and when you’re going through your season of abundant harvest, don’t be greedy, share it, plant the seed of goodness in everyone and in your time of drought, destiny will come through, she always does.

Ecclesiastes 3 – King James Version (KJV)
“ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”

Well, I guess I got my writing streak back, and there is a lot we need to talk about …

Xoxo, Lucy

Song listened to when scribbling; Florence + The Machine – Wish you were here

Decoding

Daily Prompt: Mystery

I have been quiet, I know, forgive me – life happened. The problem now is sharing my experiences, so much has happened, so much is happening, a lot of epiphanies are coming to light – life is happening, but there are so many thoughts running through my mind that it is so hard to segment everything into delicious little pieces, all my thoughts want to have a say, the voices inside my head are all screaming and everyone is asking me when my next blog post is going to be … I am so close to getting my writing groove back, here is what I could piece together…

There is something about the phase I am going through right now, it’s a tug of war between who I think I am and the woman I am becoming, it’s beautiful.
There is this sense of feeling self-assured in my flaws, being unapologetic for who I am , growth has me on life’s highway and peace is sitting in the backseat singing sweet lullabies to my soul as my foundation hardens, I am finally finding myself.
That feeling of not fitting in and not belonging does not frighten me anymore, my spine has developed.
I have never felt as happy as I do now and it makes this phase more sentimental because I am going through it alone. No one can look back and say, “Remember when … “, because no one truly understands what I went through. This is a me moment, and I am fearlessly letting all my puzzle pieces arrange and rearrange themselves, my inner control freak is behaving, allowing this to all happen.

There is beauty in self-love, that level of confidence that is built on the numerous scars that have since healed. That’s not something one takes for granted. It took me such a long time to value patience, and understand the power of destiny, certain things need to happen in order for you to truly value what will come next, and the sad thing is you only realise this when you look back and realise how far you have come and how far you are willing to go because you do not want to go back to the dark space you were once in.

Xoxo, Lucy

Revisiting; 2.14am 14.10.2017 // 12.10.2017

Daily Prompt:Trademark

Click here to read my previous post, before sinking your teeth into this one;

I got a lot of questions about this one, a lot of people were sliding into my dm’s (is it still legal to say that?), asking me a lot of questions about this post, and a few were thankful for my honesty in my previous post, well, this is me, explaining myself …

I wrote, 2.14am 14.10.2017 // 12.10.2017, literally at 02:14am on October the 14th relating to something that happened on October 12th 2017. I found it so hard to study with this dark cloud hanging over me, this dark cloud, consuming me, I could not get through studying because I was feeling guilty, for feeling happy, and the only reason why this guilt was present was because someone in my life wasn’t happy with a decision I had taken … in a nut shell, that’s what the situation was …

2.14am 14.10.2017 // 12.10.2017 ,was a spur of the moment post, written with tears rolling down my eyes and aggressive anger, I was venting, annoyed at the fact that my decisions were not deemed good enough by those who are supposed to be supporting me and trusting my decisions. I had planned to take the post down after writing my test, but with the support I had received and feedback I was getting, I decided to fix the grammatical errors and keep the post up.

With the current phase in my life being one of growth and self-discovery, my newly gained independence has allowed me to take the most control I have ever had over my life. Taking over the steering wheel has not been easy and I am on a new journey, which is why I am unaware of the shortcuts I could take or the speed bumps I could avoid, which is why I may take the longer route or find myself having to change a tyre, and that’s okay, that’s life, it’s my life, all I ask for is patience and not everyone has that, especially when they care for you. What bothers me, is when people want to take over completely and let you sit in the passenger seat, which is why I questioned if one’s life is ever truly their own, because I’ve let too many people give me advice on my journey that a few too many think they’re entitled to taking over my steering wheel, which is where the aggressive anger stemmed from, people not knowing their limits.

Advice given, is not always advice that is taken and it’s painful when it’s not taken, which is where the guilt tripping comes from, it’s something I don’t understand neither do I agree with it but stop hindering other people from being happy, even if it’s short term happiness, your job is to be present and supportive, knowing you’ve played your part the moment you gave that person your advice.
Not saying it’s easy, but no one is perfect, sometimes you need to watch someone fall and scrape their knees and also be there to disinfect the wound, put a plaster on it and tell that person that everything will be okay … no one wants to hear how dumb they were or how they should have listened to you, don’t put someone in a position where they feel as if they can’t run to you because you’re “judging” them. Your main job is to be there and be present. Do that.

Hope that answered everyone’s questions.

I’m on insta; @lucysjournal_
and on facebook; @lucysjournal
so do the right thing 🙂

Songs listened to while writing this post ;

  • Of Monsters and Men – Yellow Light
  • Little Dragon – Pink Cloud

until next time,
xoxo, Lucy

The Brotherhood of the world award

YYYAAAASSSS, this feels so good! Huge thank you goes out to, Opinionated Confabulator for nominating me.

Before I sink my teeth into this here is what you need to know;

This award is an award of recognition and awareness. It is an award given by bloggers to other bloggers. It is a way for us to thank other bloggers for their support or highlight their awesome blogs.

Rules of the Brotherhood of the World Award:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
  2. Answer the questions sent to you.
  3. Nominate around ten bloggers.
  4. Create your set of questions for your nominees.
  5. List the rules and display the Brotherhood of the World logo in your post.

The Questions;

  1. What motivated you to start your blog?
    I actually get this question, a lot,  in 10th grade, my English teacher (I will always be grateful for the role she played in my life), made me realise my ability to write, before then I did not know I had the gift in me, I just thought I was a well-spoken individual, but because of her, I found myself starting a blog, this was 3 years ago, the main aim of the blog has changed a lot since then.
  2. Is this the first time you’ve ever had a blog (or something to that affect)?
    First time sharing my thoughts and life experiences with the world? Yes … Lucy’s Journal is my first and only blog.
  3. If yes, what do you want to accomplish with it? If not, what is different about this blog?
    World Domination *evil laugh* … haha to be honest though, Lucy’s Journal is a space for beings to come and be reminded they’re human again, before starting my own blog, I found it so hard to find a blog that I could relate to, a blog that made me feel sane, and that’s what I want Lucy’s Journal to accomplish. The next step right now is vlogging, which is something I am getting really excited for.
  4. Who is someone that pushes you to write, even when you don’t feel like it?
    Even when I don’t feel like it? When do I never feel it? If it were up to me I would constantly be scribbling my thoughts in my journal and then sharing them with you, but writer’s block can be a pain in the … anyway, the response to this question is about to get super cheesy (wait for it), my readers push me to write hey, when I get too quiet, and stop posting, a lot of them will start messaging me on facebook or instagram, asking when the next post is due to go up, for someone to take time out of their life to check my blog and then still message me, it means everything and I am grateful for that.
  5. What’s your favourite dessert?
    Hard question, I live for food, I LOVE food, but what I’m craving right now are these Chocolate brownie bits from Woolworths, the Peppermint Caramel Gateau Cake from Woolworths and an Oreo McFlurry from McDonalds, always saves the day …

My nominees …
David Writes
Non Conformist
Last Minute Stuff
Make It Ultra
My Questions;

      1. What is the one thing your readers do not know about you?
      2. What made you start a blog and how long have you been blogger?
      3. What is the greatest challenge you’ve faced in the years/months you’ve been a blogger
      4. What’s the last book you read ?
      5. What is your favourite quote and why?

This was F.U.N

Xoxo, Lucy

2.41am 14.10.17 // 12.10.17

Daily Prompt;Succumb

I find it weird how bad I feel when I have disappointed someone or a few people … usually everyone, but what I am finding even weirder is how you feel guilty or are made to feel guilty for just derailing a little bit. Now, I am the first to admit how far from perfect I am and how I make a crap load of mistakes, but what bothers me is when you’re placed in a situation where you either follow the advice you have been given, or you find yourself in a situation where you’ve messed up (which is usually where I am because I am “wrong” for not “listening”), and that temporary happiness you feel is now, something you should be ashamed of.

Where does one draw the line between their happiness and keeping everyone else happy, the balance between the two (in my opinion) does not exist and that – bothers me. Don’t get me wrong, even with an amazing support structure, one does not need to feel suffocated and start hyperventilating because they made their own decision/s, and start drowning in their own tears because they’ve disappointed the people whose opinion matters most.

Is one’s life ever truly their own?

With the various factors that contribute to a person’s life (Family, Friends, Religion, Work, Relationship/s …), one is a product of the company they keep, which brings me back to the fact that you as a whole, are made of your experiences, relationships (of every kind), and I could go on and on explaining this, but your character is influenced by these factors, which is why I question the ownership one’s life. We are so busy hopscotching trying to make everyone, happy that we give bits and pieces of our life to various people/factors, at the end of all this, how much of yourself do you actually have to yourself? Are all the decisions we make truly for ourselves, or do we take them to make everyone else happy and proud of us, and I know many of you are read that thinking, “I make decisions to make myself proud and happy”, but once you begin to dissect the matter, it may not be, 100% about you. It’s human nature, there is nothing wrong with that, I just find this feeling, really weird.

I know, this was a bit depressing but, I had to vent, which is why this post is all over the place but new posts should be coming soon, I am so glad my writer’s block vanished …

check me out on insta; @lucysjournal_

Xoxo, Lucy

Uuhhh, where were we ?

Daily Prompt: Disastrous

I am in this odd place in my life, I want to see change and I feel like I am making the right moves to get where I want to, but at the same time I feel like I have no control over my own life, a lot of things are happening and my (former) inner control freak is just watching it all happen, without a care in the world.

In a way I am grateful for this phase but at the same time I wonder what it means, because I fear losing my lust for life, the thing that keeps me going. I have so many thoughts and ideas that I want to share with you but because the winds have not directed me there I am finding it so hard to share all of it with you, which is so frustrating because all I crave for is experiences that will intrigue me and entice me enough to want to write a blog post about whatever the experience is, and here they are, here they go, and I still find myself standing, unshaken, why is it so hard for me to make moves that I have already made before, what the hell is happening.

It’s not writers block, I feel like my mind has put my tongue, on mute. The one gift I have, is now threatened and I still feel unmoved, unshaken, I feel sane yet I am surrounded by absolute chaos and insanity.

“I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
it feel like my life ain’t mine” – Logic

2c8f6b60e1adc988e160338b1f4891e4--smoke-drawing-smoke-artWhy do I feel at peace when what I know to be life, is threatened and why is it the one moment I let go of all control I have over my own life, it feels like things are falling into place. The only reason why I may be stuck in this phase is because a part of me is content with seeing the pieces of my puzzle just magically fall into place, and I am at peace because I am not constantly trying to figure everything out, it’s figuring itself out.

Is this a trap?

Where am I?

Xoxo, ?

 

Check me out on insta and facebook as well 🙂 ❤

The trigger

Daily Prompt: Passenger
Happiness is short lived, it has it’s time span, and in that time span everything just, works out and life is amazing. Then it vanishes, you finally feel the breeze that everyone was complaining about and because you are in absolute awe you stand there, dazed not knowing what to do, where to go, how to go about it, you literally begin to feel numb towards everything and everyone around you, that spark, vanished.
We never see happiness for what it truly is. Happiness is that friend that only ever wants to grace you with his presence when everything in your life is looking up, Happiness is that friend who comes and goes into your life but you can’t let go of him/her because you care for and love them so deeply. The relationship we have with Happiness is so dysfunctional, it has no direction and you never know whether this relationship is coming or going, but we still patiently wait, we still make sure we fix ourselves and find ways to get out of our funk just to be graced by Happiness’ presence. We are so hung up on how we feel around him/her, anything, and I mean anything, is worth losing if Happiness is waiting for us at the end of the road.
Crystals,_OMAMThere’s this line in a song by Of Monsters and Men (I love them), “cause nothing, grows when it is dark”, because we closely relate happiness with, light, it’s hard for most of us to digest that growth can happen without it, Happiness is the prize we are given for overcoming darkness (seems only right, right?).
I have, however always questioned whether the Happiness we feel is undiluted, pure and at 100% because I can identify moments in my life where the happiness I felt at a certain point in my life, did not feel the same as the happiness I felt in a different point in my life.
MirrorOfErised_PM_B1C12M3_HarryInFrontOfTheMirrorOfErised_Moment.jpgRemember in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, where Harry came across the Mirror of Erised, and he sat there for hours because he saw his parents standing beside him when he looked at this mirror? Dumbledore later came in and explained to him what it shows him, he said, “The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is.” Is that level of happiness even attainable? I am uninterested in how to achieve that level of happiness, what sparks my interest is the absurdity behind self-actualisation (Maslow’s hierarchy of needs), yes, self-actualisation can be reached, but how long will it last for. Humans’ lives are too unstable and unpredictable for us to expect self-actualisation to happen and actually last, or for it to actually even happen.
Note; I am not talking about being content, I am talking about reaching a point in your life where you would be able to look in the Mirror of Erised, and see your reflection as is, because you do not lack anything. Not even the richest man on Earth has attained that level of happiness and self-actualisation.
Emotions hold the strongest power over human beings, they rule us, and that’s what makes us human.

Make sure to follow me on insta and like my page on facebook !
Felt so good to write again, aahh man 🙂 .
Xoxo, Lucy

 

Alex Sono x Leave Her Alone

Daily Prompt: Paper
“ So you also need to realise that your creative ability doesn’t  stop because you wrote it down, so just because you wrote it down it should actually elevate your creative ability “

IMG-20170620-WA0086Well it is about damn time, we have been waiting on this single release by the 19 year old South African artist. This track was absolutely worth the wait, Alex Sono did not disappoint at all.
One thing I love about this track is the way he played with the beat, and this is what Alex Sono is about, producing tracks that do not conform to the norm and what is trending.
Telling the fuckboys to leave his girl alone, Alex marks his territory in his song and speaks for those guys who are sick and tired of other guys trying to mess around with their women.

“Fake n****s looking for the real girls
Real n****s never get a chance,
Fake girls looking for the pearls,
that’s why real n****s never glance“

This track is just a snippet of, Sad Boy Lex, whom he refers to as the seven year old version of himself due to his rawness and blunt nature, a version of himself he chooses to hide in real life but in his music, Sad Boy Lex is his outlet because he allows Alex Sono to be angry and vent.

 “The term fuckboy, that I use in the song, is a metaphor for just negativity in my life, it could be the personal things going on, everything going on, it could be death, it could be losing a friend, it could be people trying to interject what it is that I am trying to build, whether it be a relationship, my career, and my girl is not only the girl that I love, but also these things that I am trying to nurture, so it’s love, it’s the essence of being myself, it’s success and so it’s me saying I’ll capture these things and keep them safe, so fuckboy got to leave her alone, I would do anything for happiness.” – Alex Sono

This is not one those sad songs, this is one of those real songs, it is absolutely amazing.

Download his track by clicking here
Stream it by clicking here
Check out his Vodacom NXT LVL video by clicking here
Find him on twitter @alex_sono and instagram; @alexsono98

Support substantial art.

 

Next review coming up!

Xoxo Lucy

I am always looking for something to write about, whatever it may be … I am worth hiring!

Netball Network – Developing female competitiveness one event at a time.

Daily Prompt: Bottle

IMG-20170617-WA0007
The team that made this all happen

I was invited to a Netball Network event that took place yesterday (17/06/2017) in Benoni at Wordsworth Highschool, and what an amazing event it was.
When I arrived there, the teams were getting ready to play against each other (Smega Stars vs. Wordsworthens), I got a few minutes to talk to one of the organisers of the event, Olebogeng Pule, and although the turnout was not what he had hoped for, he did say every other part of this event was an absolute success and the beautiful weather made up for everything else that did not go the group’s way.

What added a bit more sparkle to this event was the fact that, it was centred around women empowerment, giving female players a little more field time and giving recognition to sportswomen and the sports they’re involved in. It felt so refreshing to be at an event that had absolutely nothing to do with what interests me, because it had nothing to do with me but those involved in the game and me showing them support, because that goes a long way. This I think also adds to the reasons why you should support events in your community, show that love and encourage those hosting and taking part in the event.

Look to the left of your screen, if you can’t see anything scroll to the bottom of this post, check out my Instagram for more on this event, click the follow button while you’re at it, PLEASE subscribe to this blog all you need is an email account and you’ll be the first to know of my blog postJ, and you can’t forget the Facebook page – whatever makes you comfortable, whichever you’re most active on … just show me some lurv!!

Next review coming up …

Xoxo, Lucy!